Being Heard – The Power of Acknowledgment

It might seem trivial, but one of the key learnings from my time as a scrum master is that people long to be heard. Being understood by someone else, validates the speaker. Listening says “I care. I take time and pay attention to you. You are important! Your take on things is valuable.”

Many methods for meeting facilitation also achieve that (i.e. acknowledge people’s input): Writing things down on the flipchart, paraphrasing, summarising, clarifying, …

Take every oppurtunity to listen:

  • Lift up a colleague by lending an open ear to hear what they fret about.
  • If you’ve got direct reports, schedule regular one-on-ones with them.
  • In a negotiation, take the heat out of a discussion by summarising someone else’s position, thus demonstrating that they’ve been heard.
    Recently, I found this snippet in “Getting to Yes” (a book about negotiating):”[...] the cheapest concession you can make to the other side is to let them know that they have been heard.”

    Many people will only try to understand you, after they are sure that you’ve understood them. (Please note that understanding does not imply agreeing. I understand a wide variety of points of view, but only agree with a handful.)

Depending on your role, people might expect you to act on what they tell you, not “just” listen, but that’s a story for another day. Listening comes first.

PS: Want to hone your listening skills? There’s an app a TEDTalk for that!

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Corinna Baldauf spent years facilitating Scrum and Kanban - delving into agile, lean, systems thinking, communication and leadership. After a 5 months Sabbatical she returned to being a web developer in Jan 2014: An excellent decision! You can follow her on Twitter

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3 thoughts on “Being Heard – The Power of Acknowledgment

  1. Judith W. Umlas

    I think I agree, given the book I wrote, The Power of Acknowledgment (www.iil.com/poa). Acknowledging people for who they are and what they contribute to a team, a project or an organization means the difference between engaged, passionate and inspired employees and lethargic, dissatisfied and grumpy ones. Try it, and feel free to ask me any questions — I have trained tens of thousands of professionals in using this skill and they love it! You can contact me at judy.umlas@iil.com for any advice or consel! I am truly passionate about this subject.

    Reply
  2. Corinna

    Hi Judith! Thanks for pointing out the book! I’ve immediately added it to my reading list. After reading I might take you up on that counsel :)
    All the best, Corinna

    Reply
  3. Judith W. Umlas

    Hi Corinna! I would be delighted to offer advice and counsel to you and any of your readers. You can’t be a true leader without the ability to acknowledge people generously, profoundly, authentically and spontaneously. My best to you and your colleagues. And thanks for helping to spread the word about this powerful and magically effective skill. Warmest regards, Judith

    Reply

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